Reality Bites

Don't you hate when you're going along on your angry, self-righteous way and you suddenly realize, "Oh shit. I brought some of this on myself."

I asked my husband to be something that he isn't. He is NOT a dominant. And I knew it, at least on some level, which is why I kept my submissive fantasies to myself for well over a decade.

But, having let a bit of it out accidentally, I couldn't leave it alone. I kept pushing. I ignored all the signs that should have been screaming at me that he couldn't do this.

I need to stop myself from poking at things with sticks. Seriously.

I thought that if he didn't want it, he would take me firmly by the shoulders and say, "No. I don't want this. It's not who I am."

But the irony is, in order for him to have done that, he would have to be, well,...dominant.

Instead, he whined. He picked fights. He belittled me and made me feel ashamed of what I am. Which makes him an asshole.

But not a dominant.